Well, 20-fortune, 20-for-me and other cheesy 2014 slogans do not apply to me.. Yet. Or maybe never will. You see, after spending the majority of the 2013 festive season in my room drinking all kinds of vodka and watching youtube videos, I hoped that that the proceeding year would come bearing gifts; I disappointed my mum by failing the semester and therefore not returning to university this year.
How do I feel about it? I’m fine. What I am not fine with, is losing all the great opportunities I’d lined up and mentally prepared myself for. The World Take-Over which excited me so much, has been paused until further notice. Like previous years when I’d let myself down I have fallen into a slight depression and spend my days in pity parties listening to My favorite rapper’s music in order to draw some motivation from him. (sigh) I’m still stuck in self pity.
There are so many things I could do right now, and [forget] the future I’d imagined had I continued with my International Business degree.
1. I could be exercising and working for the super-sexy body to show off in Namibia for my 21st Birthday Celebration;
2. I could be reading more books about all the things I said I would read about starting last year;
3. I could go be a bartender somewhere and ease my sorrows by getting people drunk and listening to the sadness of their lives. Then watching them drive away in their R6 000/month vehicles
4. I could just hang myself and let go of this self-inflicted misery
What i have been doing is reading novels and job hunting on the internet. I have also been eating away my sorrow and then crying about gaining weight. It’s really hard to blame someone or something else for my current state.. I want to blame someone because it doesn’t make sense to take responsibility for my failures and work on the weaknesses that caused to make myself a better person.
My Youtube searches and interesting twitter follows have introduced me to a Dr John Henrik Clarke. So despite my extreme desire to be sad and pathetic right now, I am actually learning a few interesting things which I will write to you about.
For now, pray that I stop the emotional eating and get the sexy body; That is PRIORITY NUMBER ONE in life. Sexyness