ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS

I wish my biggest fears were: “What if … when I am dead?” but they aren’t.
I’ll be dead.
Whatever I did or did not do will not matter to me, nor do I care what happens to those I have left alive: I will be dead.
I don’t think my corpse will be concerned about anything while she decays to feed the creepy crawlies beneath our soil.

One of my biggest fears is that I will never get over my fear of pregnancy.
That I will spend nine months with a life inside of me & when she is due to live on the outside she will die.
My biggest fear is that I will bond with my unborn child, and she will become the center of my world before the outside knows of her life but she will not live to love me back.
I am afraid of loving someone more than I love myself, before she even knows how to love me & she will not live to give me back my love.
I am afraid that my husband will pamper me, and love us both. My sweet husband will give half his life to us and I will never love him again after I lose my baby.. I am afraid that my husband’s love will be rejected because my heart will be crippled by the loss of my life & that I will not love life anymore.

One of my biggest fears is that my biggest fear will keep me from living the life I want because I can only expect the worst to happen & keep the best locked away in my imagination.

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