Before I begin, I have a question for you. Do you identify as a
- Loving, nurturing, sweet [wife-able] person, or
- A cold-hearted fucking machine?
I ask this seemingly unnecessary question because women are always forced to be one or the other. To be a [wife-able] woman, or to be sexually satisfied. I wish I had the vocab and insight to explain how this is oppressive, but I don’t. I’ll only tell you my experience of it.
A lot of times people say to me, “You’re such a guy.” in reference to my approach to love and sex relationships. I don’t like this, it’s not a compliment. The “guyness” they’ve identified in me is closer to being manipulative than carefree, so I’m usually offended by that observation.
- I do not like to be approached, I usually make the first move.
I do this because when a man approaches me first, I worry that he’s putting on an act to feel on my yams. [We] have been socialised into believing that men have to trick women to sleeping with them. That is something I eliminate by making the first move. I’d rather catch him off guard (men don’t usually expect women to make the first move) and ensure that we are honest with each other about what we want.
I receive one of two reactions:
- “Okay, cool. Do you wanna get some ice cream?”
This is someone who would’ve had the conversation with me anyway, not be a sneaky fake boyfriend creeping around me for the yams.
- “OMG, you’re ho. I’ll take the sex but ew girl, you gross.”
Pretty self-explanatory. But I wonder, does his penis not deserve better than an ew, ho-girl?
Why would you do sex with a dirty person when your pure, God-given penile gift to women deserves so much better?
Why would any self respecting man want to have sex with someone who… wants to have sex too?