BYE BYE 2014

Hi there, it’s been a really great year for me and it just got better! But I’m not writing this here post to floss about my good life, I just have a few unrelated things to tell you about because my 2015 is beginning soon & I’m making this an official New Year’s resolutions post.

Welcome to my amazing life. 

I’ve been unfortunate enough to have intimate interactions with ignorant people, and it was life testing my commitment to growing myself and spreading the gospel – but one tires of giving lectures instead of engaging in conversations. There’s accepting different opinions and then there is over-exposing self to unnecessary nonsense.

Disease: IDIOTITIS. Causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands affected. Might be contagious. Best Defense: Slap & Run

The encounters exposed to me that I indeed have grown this year. I have become more patient, less judgmental but too accommodating of bullshit. I learned that I hang on too long to the hope that people will grow/change for the better even when it is very evident that they seem to be comfortable in their ignorance and stupid opinions (totally a judgmental thing to say, but whatever, I said it).

I’ve been blessed with absolutely marvelous people as well, and luckily they outnumber the exposure to agents of idiotitis in my life this year.

There is Emma, such a brilliant writer. (I love her a lot). She inspires me in so many ways to embrace things like my awesomeness and (grumpily) the unkind facts of life.

There’s Jaja, super-super cool gentleman. His blog is a necessity in my life. And he’s been a kind and supportive energy and I’ve learned from him that patience is what makes everything okay. And DETACHMENT! OH MY GOD that is the deepest life hack – KNOW WHEN TO LET GO! Thanks J

There’s my mother, who’s become a little too nice this year. Maybe it is what parents do as I (or they?) grow older. But she’s been very great and supportive of my efforts to greatness. I just wanna give her a special shout out like this is a radio show: “Ke dumedisa mama ko satafrikha, le bo nnake” Yeah. Thank you.

There’s also my sisters (weirdos.) and my friends who remain my friends despite my selfish approach to friendships. They still text me back when I occasionally get over myself and acknowledge their existence, thanks guys. 

Okay, the resolutions now

I did start to read more this year! I really did and I am very proud of myself, I started late in the year but I did!!!! I hope with the new year I will be able to express my personal socio-political opinions like someone who actually knows what she is talking about. That’s really why I made my blog, so I could write about what I believe in and how it could be real for a lot of people.. …how I live it. 

I Will.

Other things were regular exercise (hahahaha, you know you didn’t either) and getting a job (I’m formally employed now, twice). AND I’m taking responsibility for my future and actually doing my school work, so it’s been a good year.

2015 for me begins next month, I’ll be book-worming and initiating a new attempt to incorporate regular exercise into my lifestyle.

EVEN IF YOU KNOW ME WELL, YOU DON’T KNOW THIS

If you knew me well enough you’d know that I’m a hopeless romantic who loves heartbreak & to break people. I want to fall out-of-love to feel sad so that I can write out my sadness in beautiful laments of lost love & emptiness.

I hate being happy because ever since I started to feel like this I’ve lost my ability to write poetry which brought me sad memories, but made me happy to read.

I want to be happily sad.

I want to have sadness to express.

I want to feel empty.

That empty feeling had so much inside of it. That empty feeling was a space me to find myself in.

Even if you know me well, you may have no idea how displeased I am with myself for being so happy & getting over my first and only heartbreak. You don’t know that I wish happiness didn’t feel so good & healthy so that I could write again.